day one without my dog was devastating. i had joked we were taking Soldier to the vet because he ate my nephew’s sock (been there done that twenty times) or just wanted to ride in my mom’s truck or just wanted some attention which is why he was getting some x-ray’s and an ultrasound. that night i was typing out the words “my best friend of 12 years. he saw me through it all since my junior year of high school. i love you Soldier. you’re a freaking butt and this wasn’t the plan today. i joked the whole car ride over to the vet that you were just faking being sick and wanted out of the house… that you maybe just “ate another one of hutch’s socks”. that you were getting an ultrasound and x-ray just because you wanted to make friends with other people. but you were really, really freaking sick and in pain. i’m gonna miss you Soldier. go chase all those deer and squirrels forever and ever and ever in your dreams. and go swim in the lake without permission. my best friend is gone. so sudden for us all today but he’s out of pain. soldier, you’re everyone’s fav. 🤍”
now it’s been 48 days. it’s felt like a day and forever. it’s been 48 days without Soldier Joe. i miss him big and one thing i continue to think about that i am absolutely thankful (!!) for is that i was HOME. in north carolina. that wasn’t the plan after leaving mercy. him leaving us was completely unexpected and sudden and traumatic but i was home. with him. woohoooo thanks to treatment… then finishing up i was home and had “helped my mom bring the dog to the vet” that day. so thankful i did. so thankful for the last few months i was able to spend with that butt. we all know that my year in Sacramento had me away from him and then being in Redding … but treatment had me back in Raleigh and then back with the butt. and i’ll forever be grateful for that. so thankful for that extra time with him. i remember sitting on the ground that day with Soldier as the vet told us that there wasn’t good news and that we could take him home for one night. he had cancer and it spread to his lungs. he could barely breathe. we didn’t know. we knew something was wrong but he was hiding it from us so well. if we wanted to take him home for one night we could. i remember sitting with him on the ground. she met us there. the only words out of my mouth as tears streamed down my face in front of a stranger, “there’s nothing we can do?”…”i’m not going to treatment tomorrow”, “i don’t want to take him home. he’s in too much pain” …“call gracie”…who just so happened to be in town for the weekend too. not a coincidence. thank you Jesus. all of it worked out. but man that dog is a butt. and i miss him so.
“just one more kiss”, i told Soldier before he left us. he had never had chocolate in his life but he ate half of that bowl full of chocolate kisses before he went to dog heaven. they say “no dog should go to heaven without tasting chocolate”… he got a taste alright.
no appetite for days turned into one heck of an appetite that last hour as he saw chocolate, peanut butter and marshmallows… all for him. as much as he wanted. what a butt. my last words to him too. man. how has it been 48 days without him chasing squirrels and deer in that yard or running down that hill or walking on the land. missing him big.
annie snyder 